by Rev. Racquel Ray,
Associate Minister of Congregational Life
On September 7, 2024, my mother-in-law passed away. Irene Deanna Ray, affectionately known as Annie was the matriarch of the Ray clan. She was eight-five years old and had survived several previous rounds of breast cancer along with a stroke and a heart attack. The love of her life, Art (GySgt Arthur Ray, USMC, Retired), survived WWII, Vietnam, and Korea and succumbed to Parkinsons in 1995. Annie had been a widow for nearly 30 years. She was a devoted Anglican Episcopalian whose faith was demonstrated in her service to her church, her love of ministry, and her zeal for prayer.
My relationship with Annie can be summed up in Titus 2:3-5 (New International Version):
3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
Annie warmly embraced me as one of her own. She offered the wisdom of the older woman to a younger woman; faith, family, and friendship were shared in abundance. She taught me about things I missed out on in childhood: Disney movies, children’s stories, nursery rhymes, sewing, knitting, cooking, and crafting. She was full of stories of raising her own children in the church and adventures in scouting. Her recipes were from an old Campbell’s Soup Cookbook, the Girl Scout camping recipes, or from Betty Crocker and were mostly made in one pot. Classic Ray family recipes such as Aunt Dora’s Dump Cake, All-in-One Hamburger Dinner, One Pot Spaghetti, Beanies and Weenies, and Hungry Boy Casserole are all favorites of my kids. She would call me with prayer requests from her congregation and kept us on their prayer list too. We referred to ourselves as Mrs. Ray (the older) and Mrs. Ray (the younger). Our new daughter-in-law is Mrs. Ray (the youngest).
Annie was born in 1938 at a time when families were coming out of The Great Depression. She was frugal and saved her bacon grease in a coffee can. She saved bread crusts for breadcrumbs and made her own ‘Bisquick’ with self-rising flour and shortening. She saved scraps of fabric for crazy quilts and reused her tea bags. She made preserves and pickles along with candied orange peels and ‘turkey bone soup’ from the Thanksgiving leftovers.
Our kids adored Annie. Our son, especially, loved Annie’s cooking and on the first day of her visits, Christian would take Annie to the grocery story with the list of favorite dishes and a list of ingredients (which we don’t usually stock in the pantry) for those classic Ray family recipes. She read stories to them with all of the characters having separate voices. She emphasized the importance of church and education.
Annie and Papa left a legacy. With eight grandchildren and eight great grandchildren, the Ray family has grown. Papa was orphaned during childhood and joined the Marines at age 16. It was his dream that his grandkids would go to college and all of them did; some chose professional certification. They left us all with a legacy of service to country, church, and family. They left us with a collection of thrifty and delicious recipes and a lifetime of memories and stories.
In the past few weeks, I’ve been reminded of the importance and sacredness of staying connected with family. Our siblings, kids, grands, and nieces and nephews are the treasures and the joys of our [sometimes challenging] lives. May Annie’s (and Papa’s) souls and the souls of all the dearly departed rest in peace.